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Final Furlong: March 9, 2013

Moms Dating, fat soccer fans, the embarassing Miami Marlins, and Mike Tyson?  It must be the Final Furlong.You know it’s got to be bad when we actually have to spend time narrowing down the contestants each week.  I wish I were kidding.

-Sports fans are terrible people.  Sure, they might be decent ladies and gentlemen when not supporting their team, but in the sporting realm, they’re awful human beings.  Take, for example, the fan club “La Familla” for the Israeli soccer club Beitar Jersualem.  The team, who’s looking to get better and win matches like any other franchise, signed two Arab players.  That caused the fan club to get frustrated their team wasn’t “pure”.  I wish I was making that up.

Well, this past weekend, one of the Arab players Zaur Sadeyev scored a goal.  La Familla’s response?  They walked out.  That’s right.  They walked out after one of the players ON THE TEAM THEY CHEER FOR scored a goal for said team.  I repeat.  Sports fans are horrible people.

-So it’s not just fans.  Turns out the Washington Nationals hate dead people.  Or, it certainly feels that way.  in 2011, one of their prospects Yewri Gueillen died from bacterial meningitis.  He was living AT the team facility in Boca Chica, located in the Dominican Republic.  However, the contract hadn’t been finalized meaning his health insurance hadn’t kicked in.  Now, his family wants to get some of his signing bonus, but they can’t because the Nationals forced them to sign paperwork saying they wouldn’t sue.

Yup, they made sure they got a family who doesn’t speak English to sign documents written in English, that acknowledge Guillen had bacterial meningitis but he didn’t contract it at their facility (that he was living at) and that the team did what they could for him.  OH, and the family couldn’t sue.  You can tell this is going to end will.  The Nationals could be on the hook for the money because they don’t have certified trainers living at the facility, but again, the family already signed the agreement.

Also, thanks to Deadspin, it came to light that 21 of the teams in MLB don’t have certified trainers at their Dominican facilities.  Meanning….this will probably happen again.

-Kind of a depressing week, isn’t it?  We now move to the MLB team owned by a terrible person, Jeffery Loria.  He swindled the City of Miami into a new stadium that has been lampooned by fans and media alike.  He signed a truckload of players to a team that wasn’t competitive and traded all of them away for peanuts.  Now, we find out the team has only sold 5k season tickets (I’m impressed, I would have guessed somewhere between 50-100) so they’ve resorted to a buy one-get one deal.

Oh yeah, if you buy a ticket to the season opener on April 8 against the Atlanta Braves, you’ll get a voucher for a free ticket to a game at a later date.  Pathetic.  Minor League teams can do better than this.

-This happened at Indiana/Ohio State this week:

Dakich acknowledged the previous relationship saying

“You kidding me?  The daughter wears that as a badge of honor.  Why shouldn’t she?”

-Brazil will be hosting both the 2014 World Cup and 2016 Olympics.  IN Rio de Janiero, they’re building a new stadium to hold the fans who will be in attendance (think about how poor Brazil is and how much a stadium costs.  Yup…).  Turns out, they’re also going to put in a section of fat seats.  We’ve reached the end…

The fat seats, 120 total, will hold a human being who weighs up to 560 pounds because, well, you know, people who weigh that much are very likely to get out and about to a soccer game.  The seats cost double what a normal seat does, which I think is about right.

Oh yeah, this is a FIFA mandate.  Welcome to another terrible organization.

-Finally, to end on a happy note, we bring you Mike Tyson.

I found this story on and I don’t need more than the headline, which reads:

Mike Tyson Reality Show To Headline New Fox Sports Network

I don’t have a joke.  I don’t need one.  It’s right there in the headline.

I’m totally in though….

The Final Furlong ends The Sports Wire every Saturday Morning from 8-10am.  Join host Brian Freeman on ESPN 100.5 and Total Sports Station 103.1 KTGR.

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