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Final Furlong: January 26, 2013

This week: new technology, an NBA bear hug, and the strangest pick of running presidents ever.There really is a unique tapestry to the world of sports.  That’s what makes the Final Furlong so much fun.  You really never know what’s next.

-Jo-Wilfred Tsonga is a good tennis player, but he might want to work on his English.  Earlier this week, someone asked him why the women’s side had so many upsets and the top 4 seeds of the men’s Australian Open all advanced to the semifinal round.  His answer?

“You know, the girls, they are more unstable emotionally than us.  I’m sure everybody would say it’s true, even the girls. (laughter).  No?  No, you don’t think?  But, I mean, it’s just about hormones and all this stuff.  We don’t have all these bad things, so we are physically in good shape every time and you are not.  That’s it.”

Yup, that’s it.  It couldn’t POSSIBLY be because women’s tennis is deeper in talent or because there aren’t many great men’s players.  Also this:

-We can confirm Brett Favre won’t be making any more NFL comebacks.  First of all, it was important that he’d miss an entire season before you could believe he could be retired.  Also,  he’s way too busy playing in church dodgeball tournaments.  good news though, he didn’t kill anyone trying to hit them with the ball (Favre still has a great arm).  The entry fee was $40 (Favre has the money and so do you) and reached the sweet 16.  Ed Werder was on hand to cover the event.

-It’s cool when someone hits a halfcourt shot.  Even cooler?  Winning $75K for the affair.  Scariest part?  Having 6’8 270 LeBron James bear hug you to the ground.  Well, it happened to this poor guy.

Fortunately, no one was hurt and not only did this guy win $75k, but so did the Boys and Girls Club so everyone wins.

-Anyone who wrestled in high school or college or, well, anywhere outside of the WWE, knows how much it sucked to have to make weight.  You were eating 47 pounds of fudge the night before, or sleeping in the boiler room to sweat off the extra water.  Someone might want to talk to Delmon Young because the new Phillies outfielder has to weigh in 6 times this season.  3 times he’s got to come in at 230 and below, the other 3 times?  235 lbs.  Each time he makes weight, he gets $100k.  Glad there’s incentive, but shouldn’t a grown man be taking better care of himself?

-If you’ve ever been bored by Craig James, Phil Simms, or Tim McCarver, have they got the technology for you.  Initially developed by NASA, the Sony BDV-N7100W sound system actually mutes the TV except for the ambient noise.  Yup, it’s a “football mode” and I WANT THIS SYSTEM.  Think about how many more parties you could have if you didn’t have Dan Dierdorf poking his head into your living room.

-The Washington Nationals have a mascot race every home game.  I’m all for the chicanery between Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Teddy Roosevelt, and Thomas Jefferson.  Well, there’s a new mascot in town.  Remember, they’re running a race and representing notable presidents.  Meet the newest member of the group: William Howard Taft.  Yup, America’s fattest president will now be running in the race.  Granted, Taft started the tradition of throwing out the first pitch and may have created the 7th inning stretch, but this is still funny.

That’s it for this week, but you can be sure to tune into The Sports Wire next Saturday at 9:50am for another edition of the Final Furlong.

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